In the past two months; I’ve come back from a two month trip to Uganda (which leaves a lot of extremely bittersweet feelings) been hospitalized for two weeks and in the ER more times than I can count, I’ve been hit in the eye with a rubber band, (freak accident), people who have claimed to be there for me (or love me, or whatever) have completely ghosted or I’ve found out that I just wasn’t as important to some as I thought, I’ve lost my home and had to move, I’ve lost my Mom, and now I’ve had a serious car accident in which my car was totaled~from which I’ve suffered a concussion (among several other serious things).
Everyone keeps telling me how brave and strong that I am. I’ve been compared to Wonder Woman, time and time again. But to be truthful, right now I feel like the little girl in this picture…little girl me, dressed up in a homemade Wonder Woman costume, instead. I’m supposed to be raising funds to go back to my Uganda missions for an entire year, but barely anyone has given so far, because most people aren’t willing to put their money where their Like👍🏽 goes. I’m supposed to be resting from an illness, but now due to injuries accrued in the accident, my recovery is twice as difficult. I’m supposed to keep everyone posted on how I’m doing. I’m supposed to be helping handle everything with Mom’s house, figuring out a whole new life plan for the rest of my time here on earth…I’m supposed to be doing all this #adulting , and mountain moving, and real super hero stuff. But if I was doing all of that stuff right now, I’d be the absolute worst leader EVER. If I just put on a happy face all the time, and posted perfectly filtered selfies, and cute little motivational quotes constantly…I’d be a horrible example of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. If I let this season go on, giving you the illusion that this walk of faith is anything that even resembles easy, I would be lying to you.
But I will tell you, that though it won’t be easy, it is worth it. Because my secret isn’t that I’m Wonder Woman, or any other super-hero for that matter…it’s that I’ve learned to rely completely on the only real Hero that there is. I’ve truly learned what Paul meant when he wrote #Phillipians413 . “I can do ALL things, through Christ who gives me strength.”
This warrior is a child…a Child of the Most High God. Sometimes I cry, get scared, fall down, even need a hug. I’m a Child of God, a human child. Jesus came down from Heaven to be a human, too. So that when I go through things that make me weep, or experience pain, loss, betrayal, or rejection…I can know that I’m not alone, and that He made a way through so that I can do the same.
I might be down, but I’m not dead. I might not understand, but I will trust Him. I might be bruised, but I’m still covered and protected by The Blood of Jesus. And because of that, I don’t have to do any of those things on my To-Do list right now. I know that my Father is already working on them. I don’t have to know how, why, or when…because I trust that God knows. No, I don’t have to be strong right now at all. For now, this warrior will be still and know that He is God. I will rest in the shelter of His love. And I will boast all the more in my weakness, letting His strength show forth…all for His glory.